Midweek Catchup: Bum Cheeks, Ballet and the Makeup Counter From Hell

On this week's Midweek Catchup, Kaye's in Milan playing loyal assistant on Donna May's business trip (hairbrush already cleaned, wash bag already judged), while Karen's at home trying to save her voice before a nurse appointment that could delay her chemo jab. She's not above putting half an onion in her sock to make it happen.

Karen survived the John Lewis foundation counter: a 23-year-old who made her look like a ghost, offered her casket perfume, and said "anti-ageing" without flinching. Kaye went to Liz Earle's book launch and came home with the news that your bum skin is what your face could look like if you'd kept it out of the sun. Karen had follow-up questions nobody needed answered.

There's new specs, a mystery telling-off from Lisa, a ballet that was not their thing, and a chronic arm itch that's now gone international. Victoria Hislop is coming up this week.

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